The Standard

Issue date: 5/6/08 Section: Opinion

Today's modern women are raised on independence and self-sufficiency. American society and beauty magazines teach young girls that a real woman is sexually liberated, equal in all ways to a man, and finds complete fulfillment in self-reliance. These messages fuel a common belief that stay-at-home mothers are less respectable than career women.

As Mother's Day approaches, let us consider an alternative to the independent lifestyles most of us work towards. Many college females seek career success, not being pregnant and barefoot with five kids. As we face exciting opportunities and life decisions, I dare you to also consider marriage and motherhood as a viable route for happiness. I am not a radical that wants women locked up in the home to slave away doing nothing but cleaning the house and raising babies. I'm against that restrictive image of women, but I also oppose mothers choosing a career at the expense of their kids.

To the dismay of feminists, many working mothers would choose to stay at home with their children if it were financially possible. Some mothers find that a second income is needed. Looking back on my childhood, I heartily appreciate that instead of expensive school clothes, my mother gave me her daily presence and loving arms as a stay-at-home mom. These are far more important and permanent than luxuries provided by a second income.

The statistics are clear that stay at home mothers advance their children's development. In "Day Care Deception", author Brian Robertson assembles the overwhelming evidence about the negative risks of day care. Children in day care experience higher aggressive behavior, insecure attachment in relationships, higher rates of illness and slower cognitive development than children raised by a full-time, nonworking parent.

Furthermore, in the "Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry," Lisa Youngblade finds a clear pattern "linking mothers' employment during the first year of their children's lives and their children's subsequent aggressive and problematic behavior. Even when taking into account gender, ethnicity, social class, and mothers' current employment status, third- and fourth-graders whose mothers worked when they were less than one year old were more likely to "act out," to have lower tolerance of frustration, and to be more likely to hit or be aggressive toward peers." The statistics speak for themselves.

My mom can't brag about being a career executive, but she can take immense pride in knowing that she formed four beautiful, balanced, intelligent children. This isn't the ideal decision for every young woman, but I want to acknowledge the selflessness of my stay-at-home mom and others like her. I'm proud of my mom and dad for the sacrifices they made to live and raise four kids on one average income. Instead of mocking the coupon-moms, let's view it as an immense sacrifice made out of great love.

On this Mother's Day, I'll thank my stay-at-home mother for making the hard choice to give up her career for her children. She was once a young college graduate itching for independence and career advancement. It's a difficult decision for every woman, but for my family my mom made a wise decision. On May 11, reflect and appreciate your mother's selflessness in your life.

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